as someone doing this right now, it also feels like time passes slower. i remember as a child in the summer, siblings outside playing in the garden with no devices and sometimes I would lay on the bed, bored, and it feels like we have lost that ability to be bored. i miss being bored. everyone now goes online whenever they are bored and we are never left with our own thoughts
i totally get it –i feel what made childhood so special was that we were completely present. no smartphones, no social media. i get really sad when i think about how much childhood is lost on gen alpha. i've seen kids with no imagination, no creativity –just anxiety and the need to go back to their screens as soon as possible
I'm battling my own phone addiction so this was such a fresh and interesting perspective. One of my goals for 2025 is to limit my use of social media, and some of the things you mentioned—being better at recalling stuff, caring less about appearance— I find myself struggling with and I kinda blame it on my doomscrolling, but seeing you mention the positives of social media breaks makes me want to commit to a digital break even more.
As for the isolation from everyone else being absorbed in their phones, I just wish you could have a friend who's also giving up social media for a while so you can interact with each other unaffected by technology.
Overall I just really appreciate this post as it acts as a reminder of how digital media has become so central in our lives to the point that it occupies our minds 24/7 and devalues our connections with others. Thank you for taking the time to write this, and all the best to everyone on their digital detox!
thank you for reading and taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment! i wish you the best on your digital detox, and i hope the positives outweigh the negatives always :). i also agree with you –the centralization of social media in today's world is terrifying. i just hope we all get to find offline, like-minded communities to fight this together
ooh love these reflections. the more we address and wrestle with the problems the more apparent they become and the more readily we change. 2025 is breaking up with over-consumptive phone use and feeling our feelings !
I related to all of this heavily. Last summer I got fed up with social media for all of the above reasons and loved/hated life without it for all of the above reasons. I decided to reactivate my Instagram account this December to post something creative for my birthday and, though I planned to wait a week and then immediately deactivate it again, I'm having a lot of trouble with it. I took so much joy in finding myself again for a few months without a screen being involved but, like you, I felt so undervalued, underappreciated, and isolated from everyone around me without the false sense of connection the digital world so readily provides. I've been going back and forth for weeks now about whether it is possible to maintain a healthy balance with short-form social media but unfortunately, I'm not sure that's something I'm capable of. It's just such a losing game when social media goes hand-in-hand with overconsumption, overinfluence, and a comparitive mindset by design of big tech corporations :((
oh no, i truly wish you can find healthy balance within all of this. it's hard, and i am not there yet either, but i believe that the more we try, the easier it will get. i also feel like everything would be less difficult if we could find like-minded people offline,, i have a friend who is going through a digital detox rn and just replaced her smartphone with a flip phone. i hope with time we can find more people like us and we don't feel so isolated by going offline
I agree wholeheartedly. I also switched to a flip phone for all of August and September of 2024 and it was honestly a super freeing experience! I'm thinking about switching back to it again soon to cope with the inner turmoil as of late lol. I've found some great online forums full of people who value digital minimalism and while those are wonderful, I definitely agree that life would be easier if more of my real-life friends were on the same page with it. I keep joking that all of my friends should just assimilate and get flip phones too hahaha :))
the digital world really does provide a false sense of connection and for me i think that’s my main issue with it. i hate the fact that people think they know you because of the information you choose to share! (also btw your bio is tooooo real)
Thanks for writing and sharing this JC. I think you’re right - the biggest difficulty of moving more towards a life offline is doing it solo. That anecdote you gave of wanting to talk to your friend before travelling to Amsterdam felt haunting and actually quite dystopian. Hope you persevere with your desire to improve your relationship with being chronically online even if it means confronting our internal fears of feeling alone (in the immediate term). The benefits you’ve described so far seem worthwhile.
I loved this whole piece so much. I too went off social media at the end of 2024. I feel lighter. More relaxed. I’m over it. Committing to more of my writing and long form content and reading. And being bored. I literally missed the feeling of being bored. I’m planning on getting a home phone too and practicing leaving my smart phone in the car or at home, put away. Witnessing the phone addiction breaks my heart most days. Thank you for writing this, it was incredbly timely to read.
I thought I'd have withdrawal feelings after giving up Facebook and Instagram since I spent so much time scrolling on them, but honestly, I deleted the apps off my phone and haven't been back in years. It really showed me how little connection, socialising and friendship was actually happening on social media, and how much was just brain rot videos, memes and advertising that added nothing to my life.
I've noticed this with the convo around the American Tiktok ban. Once, it was officially announced the app was going I expected ppl to talk about creating communities in real life (a few did) but the overwhelming majority was already anxiously jumping to Red Note. It's like real life didn't even occur to people's minds. It creeped me out. No type of bond or community can ever beat real life but since it takes patience and effort people don't want that. They want community to be super easy to access, hassle free and shipped overnight.
I love the introspection about facing our fears. I didn't enjoy any of the content I would watch on instagram but being faced with boredom and putting in effort to do a hobby was far too difficult and scrolling was easy. I had to learn how to live life outside of social media. It was definitely a change, but well worth it. I find so much more fulfillment in doing real life activities rather than scrolling.
this is all so true. i've only had little bits of a detox (like putting my phone on DND for a weekend) but every time i do it, i notice that without the screens, it feels like i have so much time on my hands.
i've been trying to find balance in hanging out with others, let's say for dinner. i try to be mindful and keep my phone away, but then i usually see everyone else looking down on their phones whenever there's a sliver of downtime, so i end up looking at my screen to pass the time myself. this has also turned into me passing on hangouts because i'd rather be alone. then it turns into a spiral of 'am i becoming a recluse? is this worse???' lol
i've always been the type to be able to go days without talking to anybody (and not in a lonely way, there are so many things i can do!) so maybe social media has been my way of feeling more 'normal.' again, still trying to find the balance because on the other hand, i end up in a trance once i do start scrolling.
i so relate to the desire to disconnect from my phone and invest more of my time into offline activities, but also that fomo and fear of disconnecting from my friends, culture, and current events is soooo pernicious 😩
thank you so much for sharing. you are speaking from my heart. the hardest thing about wanting to disconnect from your phone is seeing how absorbed the world around us is by them. when i take the subway it is the hardest thing to see
wow, I couldn't agree more with everything you said. Social media has made people not know how to be human! we weren't made to sit infront of screens all day; we were made to be bored, to wander, to create, to notice, to be real and connect, to have conversations in real life and be okay with the silence! this was such a good read!!
Thanks for sharing this. I’m also trying an experiment of staying of Insta which I have found has really just had me locked in with no real benefit other than wanting to over perform to get validation and as a result I have experienced creative burn out. Joining substack has been great, especially with the much slower pace of consumption of information. Thanks for sharing. Great piece.
this really tugged at my heartstrings, because not only do I feel for you, but I relate. thank you for being vulnerable <3 it will genuinely help so many to hear these words.
Beautiful post and so true! As I ignore my own phone more and more, it's the observation of just how much everyone is glued to their little boxes that is so eye opening. Leaving the big social platforms does get easier in time I have found. I've been on and off them for the past 10 years and on my way off again. But from my experience, after a week or so the FOMO fades away and I can start to enjoy real life again. I hope you find that as well! :)
as someone doing this right now, it also feels like time passes slower. i remember as a child in the summer, siblings outside playing in the garden with no devices and sometimes I would lay on the bed, bored, and it feels like we have lost that ability to be bored. i miss being bored. everyone now goes online whenever they are bored and we are never left with our own thoughts
i totally get it –i feel what made childhood so special was that we were completely present. no smartphones, no social media. i get really sad when i think about how much childhood is lost on gen alpha. i've seen kids with no imagination, no creativity –just anxiety and the need to go back to their screens as soon as possible
I'm battling my own phone addiction so this was such a fresh and interesting perspective. One of my goals for 2025 is to limit my use of social media, and some of the things you mentioned—being better at recalling stuff, caring less about appearance— I find myself struggling with and I kinda blame it on my doomscrolling, but seeing you mention the positives of social media breaks makes me want to commit to a digital break even more.
As for the isolation from everyone else being absorbed in their phones, I just wish you could have a friend who's also giving up social media for a while so you can interact with each other unaffected by technology.
Overall I just really appreciate this post as it acts as a reminder of how digital media has become so central in our lives to the point that it occupies our minds 24/7 and devalues our connections with others. Thank you for taking the time to write this, and all the best to everyone on their digital detox!
thank you for reading and taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment! i wish you the best on your digital detox, and i hope the positives outweigh the negatives always :). i also agree with you –the centralization of social media in today's world is terrifying. i just hope we all get to find offline, like-minded communities to fight this together
ooh love these reflections. the more we address and wrestle with the problems the more apparent they become and the more readily we change. 2025 is breaking up with over-consumptive phone use and feeling our feelings !
thank you so much! and i totally agree: the more conscious we are about these problems, the easier it will be to find solutions :)
I related to all of this heavily. Last summer I got fed up with social media for all of the above reasons and loved/hated life without it for all of the above reasons. I decided to reactivate my Instagram account this December to post something creative for my birthday and, though I planned to wait a week and then immediately deactivate it again, I'm having a lot of trouble with it. I took so much joy in finding myself again for a few months without a screen being involved but, like you, I felt so undervalued, underappreciated, and isolated from everyone around me without the false sense of connection the digital world so readily provides. I've been going back and forth for weeks now about whether it is possible to maintain a healthy balance with short-form social media but unfortunately, I'm not sure that's something I'm capable of. It's just such a losing game when social media goes hand-in-hand with overconsumption, overinfluence, and a comparitive mindset by design of big tech corporations :((
oh no, i truly wish you can find healthy balance within all of this. it's hard, and i am not there yet either, but i believe that the more we try, the easier it will get. i also feel like everything would be less difficult if we could find like-minded people offline,, i have a friend who is going through a digital detox rn and just replaced her smartphone with a flip phone. i hope with time we can find more people like us and we don't feel so isolated by going offline
I agree wholeheartedly. I also switched to a flip phone for all of August and September of 2024 and it was honestly a super freeing experience! I'm thinking about switching back to it again soon to cope with the inner turmoil as of late lol. I've found some great online forums full of people who value digital minimalism and while those are wonderful, I definitely agree that life would be easier if more of my real-life friends were on the same page with it. I keep joking that all of my friends should just assimilate and get flip phones too hahaha :))
if you ever feel up to it, i’d deffff read about your experience with just having a flip phone for two months !
the digital world really does provide a false sense of connection and for me i think that’s my main issue with it. i hate the fact that people think they know you because of the information you choose to share! (also btw your bio is tooooo real)
Thanks for writing and sharing this JC. I think you’re right - the biggest difficulty of moving more towards a life offline is doing it solo. That anecdote you gave of wanting to talk to your friend before travelling to Amsterdam felt haunting and actually quite dystopian. Hope you persevere with your desire to improve your relationship with being chronically online even if it means confronting our internal fears of feeling alone (in the immediate term). The benefits you’ve described so far seem worthwhile.
I loved this whole piece so much. I too went off social media at the end of 2024. I feel lighter. More relaxed. I’m over it. Committing to more of my writing and long form content and reading. And being bored. I literally missed the feeling of being bored. I’m planning on getting a home phone too and practicing leaving my smart phone in the car or at home, put away. Witnessing the phone addiction breaks my heart most days. Thank you for writing this, it was incredbly timely to read.
I thought I'd have withdrawal feelings after giving up Facebook and Instagram since I spent so much time scrolling on them, but honestly, I deleted the apps off my phone and haven't been back in years. It really showed me how little connection, socialising and friendship was actually happening on social media, and how much was just brain rot videos, memes and advertising that added nothing to my life.
I've noticed this with the convo around the American Tiktok ban. Once, it was officially announced the app was going I expected ppl to talk about creating communities in real life (a few did) but the overwhelming majority was already anxiously jumping to Red Note. It's like real life didn't even occur to people's minds. It creeped me out. No type of bond or community can ever beat real life but since it takes patience and effort people don't want that. They want community to be super easy to access, hassle free and shipped overnight.
This is such a great point. It makes me think that people aren't actually looking for community, they're looking for zero effort entertainment.
I love the introspection about facing our fears. I didn't enjoy any of the content I would watch on instagram but being faced with boredom and putting in effort to do a hobby was far too difficult and scrolling was easy. I had to learn how to live life outside of social media. It was definitely a change, but well worth it. I find so much more fulfillment in doing real life activities rather than scrolling.
this is all so true. i've only had little bits of a detox (like putting my phone on DND for a weekend) but every time i do it, i notice that without the screens, it feels like i have so much time on my hands.
i've been trying to find balance in hanging out with others, let's say for dinner. i try to be mindful and keep my phone away, but then i usually see everyone else looking down on their phones whenever there's a sliver of downtime, so i end up looking at my screen to pass the time myself. this has also turned into me passing on hangouts because i'd rather be alone. then it turns into a spiral of 'am i becoming a recluse? is this worse???' lol
i've always been the type to be able to go days without talking to anybody (and not in a lonely way, there are so many things i can do!) so maybe social media has been my way of feeling more 'normal.' again, still trying to find the balance because on the other hand, i end up in a trance once i do start scrolling.
i so relate to the desire to disconnect from my phone and invest more of my time into offline activities, but also that fomo and fear of disconnecting from my friends, culture, and current events is soooo pernicious 😩
thank you so much for sharing. you are speaking from my heart. the hardest thing about wanting to disconnect from your phone is seeing how absorbed the world around us is by them. when i take the subway it is the hardest thing to see
wow, I couldn't agree more with everything you said. Social media has made people not know how to be human! we weren't made to sit infront of screens all day; we were made to be bored, to wander, to create, to notice, to be real and connect, to have conversations in real life and be okay with the silence! this was such a good read!!
Thanks for sharing this. I’m also trying an experiment of staying of Insta which I have found has really just had me locked in with no real benefit other than wanting to over perform to get validation and as a result I have experienced creative burn out. Joining substack has been great, especially with the much slower pace of consumption of information. Thanks for sharing. Great piece.
this really tugged at my heartstrings, because not only do I feel for you, but I relate. thank you for being vulnerable <3 it will genuinely help so many to hear these words.
Beautiful post and so true! As I ignore my own phone more and more, it's the observation of just how much everyone is glued to their little boxes that is so eye opening. Leaving the big social platforms does get easier in time I have found. I've been on and off them for the past 10 years and on my way off again. But from my experience, after a week or so the FOMO fades away and I can start to enjoy real life again. I hope you find that as well! :)
i wish every single person in this world could read this